Ye Officium Area

Another Shakespearean rendition, this time by shortline99:

PETER: When I was but a lad of lesser years a wise man posed a question to my ears: if ever a great windfall I had found what wouldst I do with but one million pounds? And if I were to say the chore I'd try would be to build the carriages, then I, I'd be a carriage-maker, biding time by mending wood and making naught a dime.

SAMIR: Lo, and your answer?

PETER: I had no reply, and thus I am imprisoned here to die.

MIKE: This old man's useless riddles hold no sway, for if there were a purpose to your say then none would claim that he would shovel shiat and streets of London would remain unfit.

SAMIR: Would I give truth to this I would declare That I would leave this fortune in the care Of my old friend Saheib, or at the least would leave some to the bankers of the East.

MIKE: This question's purpose yet eludes thee too, as all you say does not reveal... the... you... What? PC Load Letter? O by the stars, I'll tear this base machine into its parts!

A Slurry Tale

A scene from pulp fiction in Shakespearean style by ceruleanst. Fucking A.

ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

V: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
J: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
V: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
J: What say they then, pray?
V: Hachis Parmentier.
J: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
V: Cream is but cream, only they say la crème.
J: What do they name black pudding?
V: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

--

J: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What?
I know but naught of thy fair country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.

Divorce on YouTube

This woman is going through a nasty divorce process, so she ups the ante and posts on youtube the hairy details and some intimate dirt.

Welcome to a new era, a frightening, broadcasted era.

Link: Crazy golddigger or crazy victim?

Hell hath no fury...

Emulation for iphone (last)

Advanced wars is really addictive, you have different units, attack ranges, damage meters, power ups, fog of war, etc. Fun turn based strategy that will keep you glued to your handheld.

The only bone I could pick with it is the dialogue. I've done 10 missions so far and the story is too predictable, full of cheesy one liners and one-dimensional characters. Still the game play is excellent; give it a try if you can.

What's up with this metal slug advance? seems like an original version (not a lame port from a previous game). Nice.

Emulation for iPhone (cont.)

I got the psx4iphone running and tested with the following ISOs (thanks for the correction d00d).

Tenchu Stealth Assassins: 20FPS tops, not really playable even if it looks nice.
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night: 25-30FPS, slow and working. Still the speed makes it unplayable.
Diablo: 20FPS. The only psx RPG I was really interested in playing and it's almost playable. Too bad it goes glitchy and crashes when rendering many monsters at the same time.

So right now it's more of a fun exercise than actual functional emulation. Either way the work of Zottd is impressive.

Interesting note: FFVII works really good outside of battles, almost full speed (or so I read), that's a big plus for many.